Family Law

As a new mother, you naturally want to ensure your new baby’s future in every way. For many new mothers, infancy is a time for celebrating new life, and making a will is the last thing on their minds. For others, the process of bringing new life into the world sparks intense feelings of wanting control and needing organization. Regardless of where you fall on that spectrum, you might be struggling to figure out what steps you need to take to protect your children’s future should the unthinkable happen. Here are five key things every new mother should know about wills. 1. Naming a guardian could be the most important part of your will. If you pass away while your child is a minor, the first issue to be addressed is who will assume responsibility for your child’s care. If you don’t name a guardian for your child in the will, the courts may decide this question for you, and the guardian might not be the person you would choose. Selecting a trusted guardian is in many ways more important at this stage than deciding about how to pass any assets you own. 2. Name an executor you trust. To ensure your child does receive all that you have allocated when she comes of age, choose a trustworthy executor. Many people choose a family member, but it’s just as acceptable to appoint a trusted attorney to handle your estate. Typically, an attorney has no emotional attachment to the family, which might seem bad, but usually results in less potential conflict. 3. Named beneficiaries on your financial accounts may override the will.  Many accounts allow you to name a beneficiary. When you pass away, the funds go to the beneficiary named on the account, even if your will states otherwise. If you’re creating a will with your child in mind (or adding the child to an existing will), you should review your investment and bank accounts with your financial advisor to make sure there are no inconsistencies when naming beneficiaries. It’s also a good time to check retirement account and life insurance beneficiary designations with your financial advisor and your attorney. 4. A will is not always the right document for your goals. When naming your child as a beneficiary, a will only goes into effect after you die. If your will leaves property outright to a minor child, the court will step in and hold the assets until your child turns 18. Most 18 year olds lack the maturity to handle even a modest estate, so we don’t recommend outright inheritance for minor children. A trust, on the other hand, goes into effect when you create it and can provide structure to manage the assets you leave behind for the benefit of your child. An experienced estate planning attorney can advise you on the best option for your family and your circumstances. 5. In the absence of clearly stated intentions, the state steps in. Think of a will, trust and other estate planning documents as an instruction manual for your executor and the courts to follow. You must be clear and consistent in your stated intentions regarding your child, as well as for others. If you’re not clear or if you don’t leave any instructions at all, the probate courts will step in and follow the government’s plan, which can lead to long delays and is probably not the plan you would have selected for your child and family.  Providing for your baby’s long-term welfare may start with just a simple will, but to be fully protected, you probably need more. That’s why it’s important to talk with a competent estate planning attorney to make sure you have the right plans in place to fulfill your goals. We’re here to help! Contact us today to talk about your options to protect your new baby.

Estate Planning Tips for commitment without marriage Advice columnist Ann Landers once observed that “love is friendship that has caught fire.” If that’s true, there are thousands of ways for that blaze to unfold. For many Americans, such devotion and passion do not need to be neatly formalized as marriage.  In fact, our cultural norms are shifting, and quickly. Consider the following: Unfortunately, the law has not kept up with these societal trends. If you and your significant other love each other but don’t want to tie the knot, you need an estate plan that takes into account your specific situation while protecting you both, along with any other family members or loved ones you wish to include. Estate planning for married couples can seem pretty straightforward because it relies on long-standing, proven legal, and tax strategies. Unmarried couples, however, may need to take a more individualized approach in order to achieve their goals. Here are some of the documents and methods you need to consider when creating or updating an estate plan.  1. Living Trusts Living trusts allow you to use your assets while you are alive and then bypass the probate process when transferring property to loved ones after you die. A trust can also keep your business out of the public record, and it can empower someone else to handle your finances if you become unable to do so. Even though trusts tend to cost more up-front than related solutions, the benefits they provide cannot be easily or reliably replicated with other planning options. On balance, a trust is the superior tool for virtually everyone; it should be the cornerstone of almost any comprehensive plan, especially for couples who have not formalized their relationships with a legal marriage.  2. Wills A pour-over will can be an effective “backup” and compliment to a revocable trust. When you die, your assets get funneled into (or “poured-over” into) your trust and then distributed to your beneficiaries per the terms and instructions of that trust. The pour-over will keeps things simple, making the process less stressful (and prone to error) for your executor and trustee. It also helps wrap up loose ends, in case you didn’t transfer every last asset to your trust before you die. What happens if you die without a will or other estate plan? Courts refer to this as “dying intestate,” and it means that the rules that will apply to your estate will be those written into your state’s laws. These laws rarely, if ever, account for long-term unmarried partners, so a will is essential to protect the person to whom you are committed. As an unmarried couple, you simply cannot rely on the intestate laws to work for you. 3. Beneficiary Designations Most retirement accounts and many other types of accounts allow you to designate a “beneficiary,” or a person who will automatically receive what’s in the account when you die. Make sure you update your beneficiaries on your 401(k), IRA, or other retirement accounts, as well as on life insurance and other documents. Depending on how your trust is designed, your circumstances, and your goals, you may name one or more trusts as the beneficiary rather than an individual person. 4. Power of Attorney, Designation of Health Care Surrogate, and Similar Documents These documents allow you to designate your significant other as the person who has the right to make certain types of decisions and sign documents on your behalf if you become incapacitated. If no such power exists, the decision-making task typically passes to a close blood relative and typically also requires a court proceeding called guardianship or conservatorship, depending on the type of help you need and what state you in live. Your lawyer can help you determine which powers should be covered by documents like these to ensure that enough authority is granted while still providing protection against unauthorized actions. Whether you’ve been living with a life partner for decades, and you’re now eyeing retirement options, or you’re just beginning a family with a person who has not formally and legally been recognized as your wife or husband, you probably have questions. How should you protect yourself and your family financially as you get older? What can you do to enshrine the values you hold dear for the next generation? What if an unwanted event happens, throwing you and your partner off balance – what contingency plans can be put in place? Our experienced estate planning attorneys can help you identify a strategy to get the peace of mind you need. Please call or email us to schedule a private consultation.

Get the most out of your work with your lawyer When you hire an attorney for estate planning, help with a loved one’s estate, or any other legal matter you want to make sure that the work gets done as quickly as possible and at the best possible value.  Here are some tips to have the most useful and value-oriented law firm experience: 1. Get to know the lawyer and the law firm staff. You’ll be working with the entire team, so it’s a good idea to know who to reach out to at the office. Paralegals and office assistants are employed by the lawyer to help you. For hourly cases (like many probate cases), the more you can accomplish with a paralegal or assistant rather than the attorney, the lower your bill could be since they usually have lower billable rates. 2. Get your documents organized The more organized you are, the easier and more efficient the entire process will be. Bring copies of all requested documents in a binder or another organized way.  This will save you the cost of having a paralegal review and organize the information for you—and maybe even a trip to the office or additional meeting if something is forgotten. 3. Keep your original documents in a secure place Only bring in copies of your originals if we request the original of a particular document. That being said, it’s always a good idea to bring the original will to the first meeting when you need to probate a loved one’s estate. 4. Be brutally honest about your situation Be brutally honest with us both about your situation and your thoughts about the advice we’re offering to you. Give the whole story so that the advice you receive and pay for is information based on your real circumstances and not a sanitized version of them. We’re not here to judge – we’re here to develop solutions to the issues that you and your family are facing. If you have second thoughts about the advice you receive or don’t plan to follow through with it, let us know so we can ensure that you and your family’s interests are as protected as possible. 5. Prepare for your meetings Bring a list of goals, concerns, and questions to every meeting so you can cover everything you want to discuss during your meeting instead of incurring the cost (and hassle) of a phone call or additional meeting to ask a question you forgot about. 6.  Take notes and ask questions When you meet with the attorney or with a paralegal, feel free to take notes because you’re probably not going to remember everything. Ask us to explain something that you don’t understand or to repeat something to be sure you write it down correctly. Remember, it’s your meeting and your case – you should always feel satisfied that you’re receiving enough information. 7. Do not fear open communication Carefully review your fee agreement, so you understand how you’ll be charged for services rendered. If you have billing questions that you can’t answer by referring to the contract or your statements, call us for an explanation. It always better to have open communication about the financial aspects of representation. In summary, when you hire a law firm, you also gain access to a team of legal support and administrative professionals so that your estate planning or other legal goals can be achieved.  Your legal team works together on your behalf to provide the best client representation at the best possible price.

What are the first steps you should take? Oftentimes, when clients come to my office seeking a divorce, they have already committed to the idea that they and their partners are going to be splitting up.  They already flew through days (even years) filled with fights and tears, rode the waves of resentment and traveled down the marriage counseling pathway.  At the end of their journey, my clients, and sometimes their partners, acknowledge that this marriage has now come to an end.  Many of my clients are very upfront about the feelings of sorrow, resentment – and sometimes guilt.  Love and trust have a lot to do with sustaining a marriage.  But really, marriage is the ability to come together over and over again. When you and your spouse cannot come together, that is when it is time to divorce.  And that is ok.  Know that marriage is hard.  Marriage with children, especially little ones, is hard.  No marriage is perfect, and it is ok to acknowledge that your relationship just ran its course without assigning blame.  Yet it is important to note that if you are in a relationship with an abusive spouse, do not hesitate to leave.  But unless you are J. Lo and have been divorced countless times, you are likely in the dark about how the divorce process works.  You may have heard horror stories on social media or through your own circles of friends.  The uncertainty is anxiety inducing.   No matter what your situation is, know that there are resources out there to help you.  .  Know that there are ways to make this process a peaceful one.  Know that there are ways to navigate through divorce in such a way that will leave you in a better place, giving you the energy to commit to a new expression of your relationship with your soon- to- be former spouse.  You are not alone.  With that said, we will explore the first steps that you need to take once you have made the decision to get a divorce. The first step is to find a divorce process that compatible with your goals.   It’s incredibly helpful to take some time to write out what you ideally want to walk away from your marriage with.  How do you, ideally, want to live your life post-divorce?  Most importantly, how will you know that the outcome to the process was a successful one?  Try to focus on the big picture without assigning any blame.  Remember that no one “wins” in divorce.  If you have children, remember that your conduct and decisions will affect them for years to come.  Review what you wrote and revisit these notes that you made to yourself.  It will be especially helpful in maintaining a positive perspective going forward.  Litigation, which involves the court’s involvement in making decisions for your children and the division of marital assets, can be incredibly expensive and time-consuming.  Our court system is not a suitable venue to resolve family disputes.  Know that your marital history, the skeletons in the closet topics, are aired out on public record, exposing the pain and wounding those involved.  The feelings of anger and resentment that linger after court hearing can seriously impair the co-parenting relationship after the divorce is over. Furthermore, the court may make decisions that affect your family for the long term with little knowledge of your family history or dynamic.  The Collaborative Divorce path ushers my clients into the next stage of their relationship in a much more dignified way.  Unlike litigation, the approach is not adversarial, and is more team-oriented.  The parties have attorneys who are trained in the Collaborative Law process.  The sessions also involve other Collaborative Law experts from other disciplines, working as neutral professionals together with the attorneys to create a sustainable solution for the parties.  The mental health professional gently guides the team through the process while keeping into mind the values, emotions and interests of the parties.  The financial professional contributes to building a lasting financial remedy, which includes crafting budget forecasts for the divorcing couple.  There are also hybrid approaches that involve both mediation and negotiation between the parties through their respective attorneys, as well as litigation.  You should consult with an experienced, licensed family law attorney who can fully explain all the options available. Also retain a family law attorney who is committed to your goals.  Research online, contact your local Bar association and talk to family as well as friends for a trusted referral.  Most of my clients are looking an attorney to readily identify and elevate the issues, as well as get them to a place where they can start their new life with a clear mind.  Be honest about whether you feel you like can trust that attorney.  The family law attorney that you hire should advocate for your interests but should also be able to tell you what the reality is.  He or she should be forthright about whether you goals are realistic and if not, offer an alternate option that is aligned with your interests.  With that said, have realistic expectations.  Please know that there will still be bad days.   There will be times where you feel like you can speak freely to your spouse, and there will be moments when you feel like you can’t even be in the same room as that person.  But as mentioned previously, keep in mind the goals you wrote down in the beginning as well as the big picture.  Ask yourself whether your current actions and attitudes are helpful towards attaining those goals.  Try as much as possible to see if your interests are motivated towards putting you (and your children) in a better place, or if they are born out of pain or anger from the marriage.  Find a way to navigate through this sea of emotions by finding a good therapist.    Earlier, I mentioned that you should retain an attorney who is committed to your goals.  Likewise, find a

To help each partner develop the tools necessary to heal, cope with the split, and plan for the future.  My family law practice handles a sizeable number of “grey divorces.”  “Grey divorce” clients have been married to their respective spouses for decades.  Over the years, through season after season, their relationships have evolved and changed.  At some point, these changes have meant an end to the vows of staying together until “death do us part.”  Statistics indicate that there has been a rise of divorces amongst people over the age of 50 years old.   As the life expectancy of humans has increased because of advances in medicine and science, the more these clients lean into the idea that marriage does not have to be forever.  There are many underlying reasons that can trigger divorce amongst these individuals.  The couple may feel less connected to each other after their children have grown up and left the home.  The partners may have found relationships outside of the marriage that fulfill them in ways that their current spouse does not.  They may face difficult disagreements regarding finances and debt.  Yet no matter what the reasons are, the Collaborative Divorce process ushers my clients into new expressions of themselves in a very dignified and compassionate way.   This approach gently unravels an intricate pattern that has been woven together from decades of togetherness.   Such threads usually involve complex assets, retirement funds, as well as financial commitments to adult children’s education.  And while these clients have a long history with their spouses and spent much of their lives connected to them, there is still a need to craft the emotional tools necessary to sustain a healthy relationship with each other after the marriage has ended.   The “team-based” approach in the Collaborative Divorce process is essential to meeting these objectives.  The team consists of divorce attorneys as well as a therapist and financial planner.  They each implement their own skills and knowledge to help these couples enter into the next phase of their lives. While the divorce attorneys help navigate their clients through the legal aspects of the divorce, the therapist provides a cradle for these folks.  They lead the team through a series of sessions to help each partner develop the tools necessary to heal, cope with the split, and plan for the future, as well as find solutions that allow these families to remain as a cohesive unit.  The financial planner provides an analysis of the couple’s assets, retirement accounts, and provides strategies that enable the financial health of each partner. Undoubtedly, the Collaborative Divorce process is the best means of helping these individuals through a very difficult, oftentimes turbulent time in their lives with attention and care.  

3 reasons we run the other way We understand that it feels hard to get around to estate planning; it sounds about as fun as getting a root canal. However, we also understand that we all want to make sure that our loved ones are protected and receive our hard-earned assets – regardless of whether we have $10 million or $10,000. Don’t let these common roadblocks stop you from protecting yourself and your family: 1. Who Wants to Talk About Death?  Discussions of death, dying, and illness – money and family – will and trusts – make many folks uncomfortable. Of course, that’s normal.  But, don’t let a few minutes of feeling uncomfortable stop you from taking care of yourself and your loved ones.  2.     This Isn’t a Good Time. Everyone is busy. We understand that, but there’s never going to be a better time. Call our office, get on the calendar, and get it done.  3.     I Don’t Get It.  Estate planning is documented in legal papers; finances are discussed; the law is analyzed. It’s common feel uncomfortable in a world you’re not familiar with.  If that’s what you are thinking, you are not alone. We will translate complex legal concepts into everyday layman’s terms for you, just like we do for everyone else. The truth is that estate planning isn’t really that bad. In fact, with our help, estate planning is easy. We’ll chat with you about your goals and concerns, analyze your family and financial situation, and work with you to come up with a solid plan. You provide the information, which we always keep confidential, and we’ll take care of everything else.

Undoubtedly, divorce is one of the most difficult experiences for many people.  Unwinding years of being together with one person is incredibly emotional.  What makes it even more complicated is finding a way to navigate down this path when there are minor children involved.  Many of my family law clients struggle to meet in the middle when it comes to raising their children in separate households.  I had mentioned in my previous post that marriage is the ability to come together over and over again.  Yet, in the wake of a separation, coming together for the children may seem like drowning under the force of a tidal wave.  Bearing smiles for the kids is rough when the heart is breaking.  Yet the Collaborative Divorce provides the necessary tools to carve out a navigable pathway and lends so much support.  It can make the co-parenting journey easier for the family.  The Collaborative Divorce Process sets the state for a positive post-divorce relationship, allows a healthy means of communication between the parties, and aids in developing a detailed parenting plan.  The process sheds some illuminating clarity and guidance in a very nurturing way.  The attorneys representing the parties are working in concert to have the best outcome for their clients.  The sessions also involve other Collaborative Law experts from other disciplines, working together as neutral professionals to create sustainable solutions for the families.  The involvement of the mental health professional is key.  Their role is to gently guide the team through the process while keeping in mind the values, emotions, and interests of the parties.  The team is goal-oriented which also helps set the stage for a positive co-parenting relationship.  Together, the team and parties can customize visitation schedules and other arrangements that suit the unique needs of their family.  Furthermore, it fosters healthy communication between parents.  The parents can, in turn, openly discuss and explore different solutions that may have not been afforded to them if they were to go through the traditional route of litigation.  In all, the Collaborative Divorce Process can definitely make co-parenting with an ex-spouse much easier.  It also gives the parents a strong sense of empowerment, knowing that they can still function beautifully together as a family and make decisions that only they know they can make.  It only takes the skill and guidance of a goal-oriented team to help these families create lasting solutions and happier, healthier lives.  Contact our team today.